Sorry I haven't updated this week. It's been a hectic week that I would love to whine...er...blog about, but let's get to the weight loss results.
Today is day 13 of this torture. I'm down 12.2 lbs since day one, which I know is incredible, but dang this is a damn struggle almost all day long.
The good news is that today was the first day that I stood in front of the mirror and could actually see the weight loss. I can see it in my face, neck and chest the most and all of my pants aren't loose, but they aren't digging into my skin anymore and leaving itchy red marks.
I've learned that if you put tilapia in a pan with the juice of 1 lemon and coat it with lemon pepper and cook it on high, the lemon pepper and lemon juice with slightly burn/crisp and it tastes very close to blackened. Blackened anything is my favorite so this discovery was fabulous.
I've learned that there is no way that I can cook shrimp without butter or oil that is tasty and I'm giving up on the shrimp as soon as I finish what I have.
I've learned that dried onion flakes are lean ground beef's best good friend and make the meat taste sinful.
I've learned that eating nothing unhealthy or preserved makes your poop smell like grass...seriously.
That's about it for today. I'm trudging along day by day and just trying not to falter one day at a time. The weekend starts tomorrow which means an almost constant struggle. Work days are way easier. I'm 160.8 today and only 15.2 lbs away from goal which could possibly be only 2 weeks away if I stay strong.
Oh, before I go, I've also learned that Shelby wants to eat ANYTHING that mommy eats so she's been getting her fill of all of this good food also. She LOVES cauliflower and apples and tilapia and almost everything else I've cooked. She eats her dinner, then sits with me and picks at my dinner...which may be why I'm doing so well because I'm not even eating my full amounts of dinner because of her.
Peace out - I'll update measurements on Saturday.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Week 1 Results
Weight - 165.8 (a 7.2 loss for the week)
Bust - 1 full inch
True Waist - 1/2 inch
Gut - 0
Hips - 1/2 inch
Thigh - 1/2 inch
7.2 pouunds and 2 and 1/2 inches lost in 1 full week.
WOOT!
Bust - 1 full inch
True Waist - 1/2 inch
Gut - 0
Hips - 1/2 inch
Thigh - 1/2 inch
7.2 pouunds and 2 and 1/2 inches lost in 1 full week.
WOOT!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Almost done with week one!
My feelings today are very mixed on how things are going.
The Good:
The numbers on the scale are AWESOME! I am already down to 167.2 which is a very impressive loss for the week and right on target with the diet's claims and promises if you are faithful. That has me elated and excited and feeling very proud of myself. The numbers are also motivating me through some of the bad parts. My clothes don't feel yet like I've lost all these pounds though, so I'm very anxious to do the weekly measurements tomorrow morning and see if I've lost any inches yet.
The Bad:
I am hungry...well, no, I take that back. I'm actually not hungry. I feel a hunger pain maybe once a day if ever. I feel no actual physical hunger symptoms. I am literally mourning food though. I feel despair over the thought of a whole weekend without a single sinful bite or cheat moment. When I lost the weight last year, I would diet all week and have a weekly cheat day. This kept me sane. It also took 4 months to lose the 20lbs, but it kept me sane. I have no cheat days...no cheat bites...no cheat anything until April 1st. This is horrendous to really accept and think about.
It's my husband's birthday weekend and it saddens me that I can't take him out for giant plates of fried happiness for his birthday. I do know that a skinnier me is a great gift for him...more so than fried shrimp, but it doesn't make me mourn any less. My husband loves me the way that I am, but I become a different person when I'm at a healthy weight and that person that I become is more active in the bedroom and happier and confident and for those reasons, this is a better gift to him.
As for food, my options have been ok. I've learned to make a delicious Tilapia filet. I've had a ground meat (93% lean) twice this week and that little 100grams of red meat has felt scandelously wonderful. I'm getting a bit tired of apples so I plan to buy a different flavor apple tomorrow. I've had Gala apples all week, so I'll maybe get crazy and get some Granny Smith's tomorrow.
The diet is working, I am having no physical discomfort and really the only distress that I feel at any time is the mental and emotional connection to food that I'm missing.
I'll post my measurements tomorrow! Have a great weekend and drink a Coke for me!
The Good:
The numbers on the scale are AWESOME! I am already down to 167.2 which is a very impressive loss for the week and right on target with the diet's claims and promises if you are faithful. That has me elated and excited and feeling very proud of myself. The numbers are also motivating me through some of the bad parts. My clothes don't feel yet like I've lost all these pounds though, so I'm very anxious to do the weekly measurements tomorrow morning and see if I've lost any inches yet.
The Bad:
I am hungry...well, no, I take that back. I'm actually not hungry. I feel a hunger pain maybe once a day if ever. I feel no actual physical hunger symptoms. I am literally mourning food though. I feel despair over the thought of a whole weekend without a single sinful bite or cheat moment. When I lost the weight last year, I would diet all week and have a weekly cheat day. This kept me sane. It also took 4 months to lose the 20lbs, but it kept me sane. I have no cheat days...no cheat bites...no cheat anything until April 1st. This is horrendous to really accept and think about.
It's my husband's birthday weekend and it saddens me that I can't take him out for giant plates of fried happiness for his birthday. I do know that a skinnier me is a great gift for him...more so than fried shrimp, but it doesn't make me mourn any less. My husband loves me the way that I am, but I become a different person when I'm at a healthy weight and that person that I become is more active in the bedroom and happier and confident and for those reasons, this is a better gift to him.
As for food, my options have been ok. I've learned to make a delicious Tilapia filet. I've had a ground meat (93% lean) twice this week and that little 100grams of red meat has felt scandelously wonderful. I'm getting a bit tired of apples so I plan to buy a different flavor apple tomorrow. I've had Gala apples all week, so I'll maybe get crazy and get some Granny Smith's tomorrow.
The diet is working, I am having no physical discomfort and really the only distress that I feel at any time is the mental and emotional connection to food that I'm missing.
I'll post my measurements tomorrow! Have a great weekend and drink a Coke for me!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
VLCD, Day 2
Today was an ok day. The headache returned after lunch and thankfully it was Mardi Gras and I was off of work so I was able to put the baby down for a nap and nap myself for 2 hours. That helped tremendously.
I've lost 1 pound which is exactly on track. I was 173 on day 1, and 177.2 on Monday after my gorge days. This morning I was 172. So I am definitely right where I need to be at this point and the 1 pound loss was definitely motivating.
There were a few times today where I either almost messed up unintentionaly, or I struggled badly. I struggled almost all afternoon from lunch until dinner. It's like I could taste food in my mouth and I felt this emptiness in my mouth that I needed to fill. It was mad hard, no lie. I unintentionally put a little of Shelby's whole milk in my mouth by holding her cup with my mouth while doing something else with my hands. I also unintentionally started using a fork that was being used for a fattier purpose. Cooking dinner for the family was also quite a test.
I had tilapia for lunch and 93% ground beef for dinner. The ground beef was by far the most filling and satisfying thing I've eaten thus far...but I can't have it often and that sucks.
I'm very excited to see what the scale says tomorrow and I realized tonight that this is probably the longest that I've ever gone in my entire life without eating a single processed food...and it's only been 2 days! That's really sad and I can't imagine what is going on inside my body as it partially flips out searching desperately for corn syrup and canola oil.
Wish me luck because today was definitely harder than day 1.
I've lost 1 pound which is exactly on track. I was 173 on day 1, and 177.2 on Monday after my gorge days. This morning I was 172. So I am definitely right where I need to be at this point and the 1 pound loss was definitely motivating.
There were a few times today where I either almost messed up unintentionaly, or I struggled badly. I struggled almost all afternoon from lunch until dinner. It's like I could taste food in my mouth and I felt this emptiness in my mouth that I needed to fill. It was mad hard, no lie. I unintentionally put a little of Shelby's whole milk in my mouth by holding her cup with my mouth while doing something else with my hands. I also unintentionally started using a fork that was being used for a fattier purpose. Cooking dinner for the family was also quite a test.
I had tilapia for lunch and 93% ground beef for dinner. The ground beef was by far the most filling and satisfying thing I've eaten thus far...but I can't have it often and that sucks.
I'm very excited to see what the scale says tomorrow and I realized tonight that this is probably the longest that I've ever gone in my entire life without eating a single processed food...and it's only been 2 days! That's really sad and I can't imagine what is going on inside my body as it partially flips out searching desperately for corn syrup and canola oil.
Wish me luck because today was definitely harder than day 1.
Monday, March 7, 2011
VLCD Day 1, Part 2
Massive headache. Massive. Major caffeine withdrawel or something. Today has really fricking sucked. While EVERY website and blog that I read prepared me to know that the first 1 - 7 days would suck, I guess I was stupid to think that it wouldn't suck for me. Between the constant nausea and headache, I'm beginning to wonder if being fat would be the wiser choice. As soon as these kids are in bed, I'm out for the night.
Happy Mardi Gras!
Happy Mardi Gras!
VLCD Day 1
Oh dear lord, I'm nauseated. I woke up with horrible indegestion 5 times last night and I'm still belching up the McDonald's that I ate to finish off my gorge day at 8:00pm last night. How am I still belching that up?
I sipped some hot green tea infused with orange for breakfast and I am still horribly nauseated and have terrible indigestion. I'll be taking my drops at 11:30 and eating at 12:00 and I may really have to force myself to even eat lunch at this rate.
I just feel awful and want to go home and sleep until this wears off. I also made the error of taking a Tylenol PM last night which always makes me groggy in the morning so that on top of the nausea is making me whiney and ready to have a big pity party.
I sipped some hot green tea infused with orange for breakfast and I am still horribly nauseated and have terrible indigestion. I'll be taking my drops at 11:30 and eating at 12:00 and I may really have to force myself to even eat lunch at this rate.
I just feel awful and want to go home and sleep until this wears off. I also made the error of taking a Tylenol PM last night which always makes me groggy in the morning so that on top of the nausea is making me whiney and ready to have a big pity party.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Gorge Day 2
Well, it's only day 2 and I already forgot to weigh in. Crappers! But it's gorge day, so who really cares, right?
Yesterday I weighed out my veggies and meats for a full week. I was pleasantly surprised by how many shrimp I can eat, but saddened by how little ground meat I can eat. Week one will consist of shrimp, tilapia and lean organic grass fed ground beef. The veggies will be broccoli, cauliflower and cucumber and my fruits are oranges and apples.
I found Melba toast and the bread sticks at the store, which thrilled me because for some reason I had no idea if regular ole Winn Dixie would sell these items and bam, they were right there.
Gorge day one was rough going. I had very little appetite at all so I had to constantly remind myself to eat. By the evening, I kicked it up a notch and devoured half of a Brooklyn Pizza and followed it with a whole pint of chocolate ice cream.
So far for Gorge Day 2 I've had biscuits and butter, powdered mini donuts (YUM) and I'm "snacking" on Cadbury mini eggs.
I am so excited and so ready for tomorrow. I've read everywhere that preparation is the difference between failure and success and I'm really pleased with how much I've done to prepare for this. I have Ziggy's full support and I know that will be vital especially on Mardi Gras day and on his birthday next weekend. Maybe this wasn't the best week to start, but is there ever a good week to start? Eventually you just have to jump in.
Wish me luck!
Yesterday I weighed out my veggies and meats for a full week. I was pleasantly surprised by how many shrimp I can eat, but saddened by how little ground meat I can eat. Week one will consist of shrimp, tilapia and lean organic grass fed ground beef. The veggies will be broccoli, cauliflower and cucumber and my fruits are oranges and apples.
I found Melba toast and the bread sticks at the store, which thrilled me because for some reason I had no idea if regular ole Winn Dixie would sell these items and bam, they were right there.
Gorge day one was rough going. I had very little appetite at all so I had to constantly remind myself to eat. By the evening, I kicked it up a notch and devoured half of a Brooklyn Pizza and followed it with a whole pint of chocolate ice cream.
So far for Gorge Day 2 I've had biscuits and butter, powdered mini donuts (YUM) and I'm "snacking" on Cadbury mini eggs.
I am so excited and so ready for tomorrow. I've read everywhere that preparation is the difference between failure and success and I'm really pleased with how much I've done to prepare for this. I have Ziggy's full support and I know that will be vital especially on Mardi Gras day and on his birthday next weekend. Maybe this wasn't the best week to start, but is there ever a good week to start? Eventually you just have to jump in.
Wish me luck!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day 1 - Gorge
Today is day 1 - first gorge day. Here are the official measurements:
173 lbs
Bust 46 inches
True waist 40 inches
Gut 41 and 1/2 inches
Hips 40 inches
Thigh 21 and 1/2 inches
My measurements, other than being depressing, have confirmed the fact that if I didn't have giant knockers, I would have a comlete box shape of a man. FUN! (NOT!)
The husband is on his way back from IHOP with a ginormous fat filled breakfast for me and I've taken my first dose of drops. I'm a bit concerned about the amount of drops that I need to take. "10 drops under the tongue" is a bit hard to measure in a mirror and I wish that the drops came with a better measurement method to ensure that I'm using the correct amount.
I've purchased my food weight scale and that was fun! My husband came home and asked if we were going into the cocaine sale business and surprised me by knowing how to calibrate a scale without seeing the directions...ex drug addicts are handy sometimes.
The baby is up, so it's time to go! Wish me luck and see you soon!
173 lbs
Bust 46 inches
True waist 40 inches
Gut 41 and 1/2 inches
Hips 40 inches
Thigh 21 and 1/2 inches
My measurements, other than being depressing, have confirmed the fact that if I didn't have giant knockers, I would have a comlete box shape of a man. FUN! (NOT!)
The husband is on his way back from IHOP with a ginormous fat filled breakfast for me and I've taken my first dose of drops. I'm a bit concerned about the amount of drops that I need to take. "10 drops under the tongue" is a bit hard to measure in a mirror and I wish that the drops came with a better measurement method to ensure that I'm using the correct amount.
I've purchased my food weight scale and that was fun! My husband came home and asked if we were going into the cocaine sale business and surprised me by knowing how to calibrate a scale without seeing the directions...ex drug addicts are handy sometimes.
The baby is up, so it's time to go! Wish me luck and see you soon!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Preparation
I've begun the preparation stage for the Hcg diet. I've begun researching food options and recipes, and today I went and got everything on my checklist of approved toiletry items.
This is the part that I'm most afraid of. It's odd that I'm less concerned about learning how to perfectly steam white fish into something edible as I am about giving up my precious Lanolin saturated toiletry items!
So here's the run down. While I won't be starting the drops until Saturday (if my god damn package arrives in time!) I still went ahead and tested out my products tonight. because what girl can stand to have a bag of new toiletry items and wait to use them?! I understand that there are many other options than the ones below, but since I'm short on time to hit the Whole Foods or order things online, I had to make do with the Wal-Mart accessible list of supplies for the first go round. Here's my review:
Secret gel deodorant - no problem, used it for years anyway.
Tom's of Maine Toothpaste - now this one was a bit odd. While my teeth are clean and my breath is sparkly fresh using toothpaste void of chemicals will take a bit to get used to. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying that I definitely felt a little hippie-esque while using this product.
Herbal Essence Drama Clean shampoo - this may be the most difficult area to get used to as I have EXTREMELY thick unruly frizzy hair. It smells fabulous and I even had fun moaning like they used to in the old commercials from the 90's. However, I foresee many clips and pony tails this summer because this shampoo isn't going to help my frizz situation at all. I put "google Hcg diet/frizzy hair" on my list for tomorrow to see if there are any tested and approved solutions out there for this.
Neutrogena Foaming Cleanser and Oil Free Face Moisturizer - the cleanser was fabulous and I loved it. The moisturizer left much to be desired. I've been slathering on thick creams and serums for years in my effort to battle wrinkles so this very lightweight moisturizer may take some time to fall in like with.
Ivory soap - no biggie. I've used this for decades because I have a history of UTI's and kidney infections. I've used this unhappily but faithfully since I was 4 years old per doctor's orders.
Last but not least comes the product that I was most concerned about and the most pleasantly surprised over. Johnson's Baby Oil - plain baby oil. This worried me. I've never used baby oil on myself or on my babies and all I could imagine is that I'd become a walking greasy mess or a shriveled prune from giving up on moisturizing altogether.
But this is SO not so. I must confess, I am completely in love with plain ole baby oil. First of all, used sparingly and well rubbed it, it leaves NO greasy feeling. Surprisingly, it leaves your skin so incredibly soft that even my husband couldn't stop rubbing my skin. The scent is a "baby" scent, but it's actually very feminine and reminds me of being 12 years old and spraying Love's Baby Soft all over before heading to the mall. The scent also wears off quickly so by time it's time for boom boom, you won't have to worry about smelling like a daycare. I love this stuff and at $1.99 for a giant bottle, I can't believe I have never tried this before.
So that is my product review. I plan to research a few other shampoos and remedies for dry face skin and frizzy hair, but over all this was pleasantly exciting and fun to try all of these new products that I may have never tried if I weren't doing this.
I also need to look into other issues, such as shaving gels (if I can even use them) and one that's a bit embarrassing, but necessary...um...personal lubricant. It is a MUST for me so I need to find out if anything is available to me for that issue.
I've been eating whatever I want all this week and my 2 gorge days will hopefully be Saturday and Sunday if the god damn drops arrive in time. I'm incredibly excited and was thrilled to find that many cajun spices are Hcg diet approved! WOOT! I might have to eat shit tons of Tilapia, but at least it'll be well seasoned.
The last thing on my list to google tomorrow is "on the go food options" for the Hcg diet. In other words, if I am not in a situation where I have an oven or a microwave, what in the hell will I eat? I'm particularly concerned about Mardi Gras day and can't imagine having to whip out a cold chicken breast on the parade route. I'll do it if I have to, but that has to be something that can be done here.
I probably won't update again until it's time to start so hopefully I'll report in on Saturday with my beginning weight and measurements and my review of gorge day # 1.
This is the part that I'm most afraid of. It's odd that I'm less concerned about learning how to perfectly steam white fish into something edible as I am about giving up my precious Lanolin saturated toiletry items!
So here's the run down. While I won't be starting the drops until Saturday (if my god damn package arrives in time!) I still went ahead and tested out my products tonight. because what girl can stand to have a bag of new toiletry items and wait to use them?! I understand that there are many other options than the ones below, but since I'm short on time to hit the Whole Foods or order things online, I had to make do with the Wal-Mart accessible list of supplies for the first go round. Here's my review:
Secret gel deodorant - no problem, used it for years anyway.
Tom's of Maine Toothpaste - now this one was a bit odd. While my teeth are clean and my breath is sparkly fresh using toothpaste void of chemicals will take a bit to get used to. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying that I definitely felt a little hippie-esque while using this product.
Herbal Essence Drama Clean shampoo - this may be the most difficult area to get used to as I have EXTREMELY thick unruly frizzy hair. It smells fabulous and I even had fun moaning like they used to in the old commercials from the 90's. However, I foresee many clips and pony tails this summer because this shampoo isn't going to help my frizz situation at all. I put "google Hcg diet/frizzy hair" on my list for tomorrow to see if there are any tested and approved solutions out there for this.
Neutrogena Foaming Cleanser and Oil Free Face Moisturizer - the cleanser was fabulous and I loved it. The moisturizer left much to be desired. I've been slathering on thick creams and serums for years in my effort to battle wrinkles so this very lightweight moisturizer may take some time to fall in like with.
Ivory soap - no biggie. I've used this for decades because I have a history of UTI's and kidney infections. I've used this unhappily but faithfully since I was 4 years old per doctor's orders.
Last but not least comes the product that I was most concerned about and the most pleasantly surprised over. Johnson's Baby Oil - plain baby oil. This worried me. I've never used baby oil on myself or on my babies and all I could imagine is that I'd become a walking greasy mess or a shriveled prune from giving up on moisturizing altogether.
But this is SO not so. I must confess, I am completely in love with plain ole baby oil. First of all, used sparingly and well rubbed it, it leaves NO greasy feeling. Surprisingly, it leaves your skin so incredibly soft that even my husband couldn't stop rubbing my skin. The scent is a "baby" scent, but it's actually very feminine and reminds me of being 12 years old and spraying Love's Baby Soft all over before heading to the mall. The scent also wears off quickly so by time it's time for boom boom, you won't have to worry about smelling like a daycare. I love this stuff and at $1.99 for a giant bottle, I can't believe I have never tried this before.
So that is my product review. I plan to research a few other shampoos and remedies for dry face skin and frizzy hair, but over all this was pleasantly exciting and fun to try all of these new products that I may have never tried if I weren't doing this.
I also need to look into other issues, such as shaving gels (if I can even use them) and one that's a bit embarrassing, but necessary...um...personal lubricant. It is a MUST for me so I need to find out if anything is available to me for that issue.
I've been eating whatever I want all this week and my 2 gorge days will hopefully be Saturday and Sunday if the god damn drops arrive in time. I'm incredibly excited and was thrilled to find that many cajun spices are Hcg diet approved! WOOT! I might have to eat shit tons of Tilapia, but at least it'll be well seasoned.
The last thing on my list to google tomorrow is "on the go food options" for the Hcg diet. In other words, if I am not in a situation where I have an oven or a microwave, what in the hell will I eat? I'm particularly concerned about Mardi Gras day and can't imagine having to whip out a cold chicken breast on the parade route. I'll do it if I have to, but that has to be something that can be done here.
I probably won't update again until it's time to start so hopefully I'll report in on Saturday with my beginning weight and measurements and my review of gorge day # 1.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Road to Skinny
I will be beginning the HCG diet this weekend on Saturday. I don't really care about your opinion on the diet, no offense. I understand that tons of people are against it or think that it is a fad diet that will never work. I've researched every pro and con that there is over several months now and I plan to do it. I'm going to really really attempt to log my journey here. My reason for trying it is that I've tried EVERYTHING else short of surgery that I'm not "fat enough" to have.
I've been the chubby girl since 4th grade. I have never ever been at a normal weight range for longer than 1 full year at a time. The only times that I've achieved a normal weight range have been through incredibly difficult diets that I could never maintain. I've obsessed over my weight for decades now. I have never been fat. I've just always been chubby. I have very small bones and a small frame so being chubby is very unattractive on me. I'm not supposed to be chubby and no other woman in my family is chubby - they are all built like me...but thin.
So here goes. My HCG is on it's way. I have my menu for week 1 plotted out. I have my shopping list for approved personal care items - I am ready!
If this doesn't work, it'll just be another attempt to throw in with all of the other failed attempts. Nothing major will be lost. But what if? What if it works? What if it works long term? What if? That what if is important enough for me to try it.
And for those who say that if I just ate right and exercised I'd be thin...those people can suck me because pshaw, I've tried that. Jesus I've tried it all.
I came to this place very unwillingly. Last Spring I very healthfully lost 25lbs and came within 5 lbs of being in that holy grail "normal" range. October came and 1 small tragedy after another happened and then winter with it's illnesses and blah-ness and here I am - I've gained back almost all 25 of the pounds that I lost.
I am a yo yo dieter. I am faithful to a diet plan and very self controlled and yet it still happens every time where the damn weight comes right back. Accept that my body wants to be 180lbs? NEVER. I will never accept that.
I need to get this under control before Shelby is old enough to catch on to her mother's psychosis on weight.
So anywho - sorry for the rant. I'm going fast because I'm at work on a break so that's probably why my thoughts seem jumbled and raving mad. I'll update on Saturday morning with a start weight and do my best to welcome you along on this journey.
I've been the chubby girl since 4th grade. I have never ever been at a normal weight range for longer than 1 full year at a time. The only times that I've achieved a normal weight range have been through incredibly difficult diets that I could never maintain. I've obsessed over my weight for decades now. I have never been fat. I've just always been chubby. I have very small bones and a small frame so being chubby is very unattractive on me. I'm not supposed to be chubby and no other woman in my family is chubby - they are all built like me...but thin.
So here goes. My HCG is on it's way. I have my menu for week 1 plotted out. I have my shopping list for approved personal care items - I am ready!
If this doesn't work, it'll just be another attempt to throw in with all of the other failed attempts. Nothing major will be lost. But what if? What if it works? What if it works long term? What if? That what if is important enough for me to try it.
And for those who say that if I just ate right and exercised I'd be thin...those people can suck me because pshaw, I've tried that. Jesus I've tried it all.
I came to this place very unwillingly. Last Spring I very healthfully lost 25lbs and came within 5 lbs of being in that holy grail "normal" range. October came and 1 small tragedy after another happened and then winter with it's illnesses and blah-ness and here I am - I've gained back almost all 25 of the pounds that I lost.
I am a yo yo dieter. I am faithful to a diet plan and very self controlled and yet it still happens every time where the damn weight comes right back. Accept that my body wants to be 180lbs? NEVER. I will never accept that.
I need to get this under control before Shelby is old enough to catch on to her mother's psychosis on weight.
So anywho - sorry for the rant. I'm going fast because I'm at work on a break so that's probably why my thoughts seem jumbled and raving mad. I'll update on Saturday morning with a start weight and do my best to welcome you along on this journey.
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