We Are Ready...I think...

Well, the shower is done. Every "need" item for the first 4 months is located somewhere in this house. So to outside eyes, we are totally ready for our daughter's arrival.

So why do I feel so unprepared? Maybe it's just my inner demons reminding me of EVERY error that I made with Luke? Maybe it's my MIL's constant chatter that makes me want to remind her that though I may not have raised 3 babies, I have raised 1 baby, so maybe she shouldn't feel the need to speak to me as if I'm a retard, and that she can save that for her other son's wife who not only couldn't pronounce the word "colander" at her wedding shower, but had to ask what it was used for? Maybe it's my fear of how all these coming changes will affect my son, my marriage, my job, my sanity, my husband's sanity, my finances?

I don't know, but I just feel like the most prepared unprepared mother on earth.

I've begun having dreams where I can actually feel every second of Luke's c-section...over and over and over again. And yes, I know, women have babies every day...I'm not a jack ass, I'm just having some pre baby jitters is all so shut up and let me have them.

I planned to write much more, but I have to cook the noodles for the meatballs and I have clothes galore to fold and beds to make. I'll return sooner than later.