Saying goodbye to say hello

Today was my last official day at work until November 16th. It was a truly bittersweet goodbye. I bitch and gripe about the people at work...A LOT. But in all honesty, I absolutely LOVE my job and for the most part, I genuinely care for the company that I work for...it's just those idiot people that I can't stand.

The older folk call me an old soul at work, because I'm one of the few in the younger generation who is a company person...I work for the company, take pride in the company and my job for the company really matters to me. The majority of Generation X'ers are only there for the paycheck and absolutely NOTHING more. They are there for their 40 hours and the second you need them to stay one minute late they are screaming, "PAY ME!" They're never happy - ever. Nothing is good enough, and no amount of pay or benefits ever makes them happy. The only thing that makes them happy is 5:00pm.

I'm the type who thinks of work and brainstorms ideas on weekends, checks my emails when I'm out sick even though I'm not paid to and feels real guilt when I've missed tons of work for personal reasons. I feel a personal need to find the money when the company is struggling despite the knowledge that our President drives a Porche AND a Mercedes and probably just got a $100,000 bonus. Many call that stupid, but just a generation ago that's how most people were. Most people worked in the same place for 30+ years and felt a part of their company. Not so much anymore.

So why do I feel this way about a company that when most people leave it, they absolutely hate it and bad talk it for life? Well, it's complicated. While I see, and for the most part agree with most of their grievances, I'm also of the sort of people who thinks - It's WORK people, shut the fuck up, quit your whining and work. Work is not there for your entertainment or to please you. We've become a country of pansy sissies who do nothing but whine and think that we deserve handsome compensations just for showing up.

Yes, my company is still a "good ole boy" company and that royally pisses me off. Sure they make me fib on tax returns, don't give me reviews when they should and they take me for granted. I watch every day as 10 men pile into giant SUV's for company paid 2 hour lunches while the women take less than an hour so that the company will keep running.

But and here's the big but - they also put food on my table, put my kid through private school, pay for the clothes on my back and afford me every luxury that I look around myself and see.

Not only that, but for the past 10 years, through marriages and a divorce, through hurricanes and disasters and personal tragedies and traumas, the one, the absolute one and only constant that I've had in my life is this very company. They've taken a college dropout and put her in charge of a $18 million dollar Accounts Receivable department. In return, I give them the best that I have to give them and I believe that for being a woman, under 35 without my official "degree", that I am paid pretty fairly although I sure would like about $10k more!

They sent me salesmen to demo my flooded house after Katrina before the mold had a chance to grow and the owner handed me a $5000 personal check under the table just to convince me to keep working when I could have just relied on FEMA and the government to take care of me while I sat in my house watching TV. They put my family in a gorgeous hotel for Hurricane Gustav and it's things like this that remind me that the grass is not always greener on the other side and that occasionally loyalty pays off.

So that's my soap box for today. Yes there are better companies out there. Shoot - there are better men out there, but I chose my husband, right? I choose this company and I'm faithful to it and honestly, it's hard for me to walk away for 8 - 10 weeks without a tear in my eye and a feeling of...so what do I do now?

Also - you may never ever hear me talk so kindly about my job ever again...it's half hormones here probably! But for the most part, it holds true - most of the people can take a flying leap off a bridge, but I would still be loyal to the company.