Useless Turd

Average day in the life of my boss - with absolutely not an ounce of exaggeration:

8:00 - 9:15am: Oh what? Work started? He wouldn't know, because he has yet to arrive.

9:15am - 10:15am: Check on fantasy football team, stare at monitor and click mouse many many times and look super busy. Get up and bother/chat with middle managers who are actually working.

10:15-11:45am: Find a group of guys to talk business with...ahem...plan lunch with and make fun of co-workers with.

11:45-1:15pm: Business lunch...ahem...go to Hooters and stare at boobies.

1:15-2:45pm: Important meeting, then chat with middle managers about how unfair it is that the VP's have such a cushy life, then disappear for about a half hour (we presume it's poop time).

2:45-3:30pm: Hurry up and approve bills! Send out several important emails and delegate the rest of the unfinished work to unsuspecting and very tired middle managers.

3:30-4:00pm: Take credit for middle managers hard work with President. Pat self on back gratuitously.

4:00pm: GOTTA GO!! Son's basketball game starts at 5:00 so he has to run out at warp speed without telling a soul, much less saying goodbye to the middle managers.

Must be nice.