The thought of starting over has been hitting me a lot lately. I look at my 8 and 1/2 year old and I see an almost grown adult. He can pour his own cereal, run his own bath water, totally dress himself, wipe his own ass with minimal skid marks left behind and do his own homework most of the time.
The 8 and 1/2 years that it took me to get here were filled with joys and horrors, pain and pleasure. He's such a mature 8 year old that though I would never do it at this age, I honestly think that I could leave him alone at home during the day and I would come home and he would be totally cared for and fine. That, my friends, was a lot of hard work on my part and on the part of my mom at times. (I give little to no credit to the father on this one, sorry, but I can't.)
So now I've been getting anxiety over the starting over. Luke can not only now play Monopoly with zero reading or counting help, but he knows the rules to almost every popular game out there in this world - do you know how hard it is to explain Monopoly or Clue to a child? It's not all that fun to do, and then once they finally "get it" you totally forget and take for granted the pain of getting this little brain to grasp and master such a complex task.
Everything. All. Over. Again. Potty/holding a spoon/reading/tying shoes - all of it - all over again.
I'm certainly not whining or bitching about it. Trust me, I'm not. I'm just afraid of it. A child going on 9 is both sad and joyous. Sad because they rarely snuggle and hug and kiss and love you like mad like they did a couple years ago. Joyous because a certain new freedom returns to your life again where you no longer have a child dependant on you for their...well...their EVERYTHING.
It's that joyous feeling inside that is bringing on the fear of starting all over again. Perhaps this is why normal humans usually have their children closer together than 9 years apart?
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If it makes you feel any better... My sister and I are 9 years apart (I'll be 27 in May, and she just turned 18) and we are UBER close. She is my best friend. So it may not be best scenario, but there is a silver lining. ;) And for completely different reasons, I am also entering into the starting over phase. So far I have good days, and I have days where all I do is cry. It feels like someone punched me in the stomach today hurts so bad. :(
Honestly, I loved it more the second time around. I was happy to start over (but there was only a 5.5 year gap between mine).
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