Long time, no post

So, my ticker says I'm 5 weeks today. WOO HOO! My doctor believes that I'm a little closer to 6 than to 5 weeks given my Hcg readings, but we'll see what the vaginal ultrasound shows on Monday.

My hcg from Monday's blood test was 371.

The nausea is beginning. I haven't puked, but I've now gagged twice this week and felt a general nausea a few times. I'm shitting up a storm and the farts...oh god the farts! I must fart about a million times a day and I cannot keep it in. I've been keeping a fan on in my office to dissipate the scent.

My house is a disarray. I was on that cleaning binge and now since I'm technically a "high risk" pregnancy due to my severe PCOS, I've been banned from much of the cleaning until I get past 8 to 10 weeks. Thank god for mom who has been helping me alot, but the house is still a mess.

Which brings me to what's really on my mind today. My house. Ziggy and I believe in the future. We live a little more humbly today so that we can live better later. We make a good chunk of change and we have a very nice home compared to anything that our parents ever had.

However, compared to my sisters, my house is a borderline...dump. Both of my sisters have gorgeous homes that are new and wonderful. My home, though I'm very proud of it, is older and needs a lot of updating...ALOT of updating (can you say pink flowered wallpaper in the bathrooms and panneling in the kitchen?)

So, we have two upcoming events where one of my sisters will be spending the night at my house with her twins and her husband. One of the days in next weekend. This has thrown me into a tailspin of fret.

I can't get the house ready for them...physically...I can't right now. And yet, I can't explain to her why yet, because I'm not ready for her to know. So, god bless my mom who will be coming over this weekend to help me spruce up a bit, but I still fret.

Why do I care so much? I have no idea. Screw em...right? But I can't ever seem to get to a point where I really can believe that.