Mother In Law

My mother in law was first nicknamed Ralph Furley by Lan at my wedding shower. Think back to the goofy, polyester wearing, extreme facial expression making, Raph Furley from the old television show, Three's Company.

When Lan first called her this, I nearly split my side from laughter as this nickname is by far one of the most fitting nicknames for a human being on earth. My mother in law IS Ralph Furley, only she normally wears jeans and her hair is a little longer.

Ralph is definitely sweet, and would literally kill herself for your happiness and comfort. She is a classic door mat. I've heard stories that she was once a working woman who was busy and made her children do chores, but I never met that woman. The woman I met was already retired and was delivering my future husband's meals to him on TV trays in his bedroom and then cleaning out his bedroom trash can.

Ralph to me, as I know her, does nothing but live to serve her over indulged selfish husband and children...which is probably why marriage is the only reason that her children ever move out of her house. She delivers all of their meals to them on trays, washes all of their clothes - everything! Even for the 33 year old sister still living at home.

The birth (please God) of this baby will happen to coincide within a month of her baby boy getting married and moving out. This frightens me. This scares me to death actually, because what will she do with her time? She does NOTHING - I mean NOTHING other than cook, clean and do laundry for her family or do crossword puzzles. That's it. She has no hobbies. She has no friends. She doesn't volunteer or go anywhere - nothing. And for this son in particular, she spends 30% of her day preparing his special Atkins meals.

My fear is that the birth of this child will give her unhealthy reasons to cling and latch on and spend her days - every day - HERE! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Being a person who loves solitude more than the average bear, this gives me panic attacks already. I'm one of those rare people who crave alone time and actually need it in order to thrive. Hurricane evacuations are a sure way to see me go nuts, as are large family gatherings of any kind that last more than 2 hours.

So now I possibly have 8 months left to get this woman something to do other than need me to take care of to make her life complete...a hobby, maybe a part time job, volunteer work?